It caught me off guard. I was scanning old photos for throwback thursday and I found a short video of when we were moving my parents from our family home to a smaller, pool less, no stairs condo. The tsunami of sadness threatened to take me out right then and there. I managed to stay afloat and get to my physio appointment.
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In that 30 second clip – I was able to see his mannerisms and humour. Absent from our lives 8 months now. Not even a year, but a lifetime.
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So much has happened since he died in May. It feels unbearable.
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I know it is not. Because I am still here. I also know, that the sadness will abate. It has before. Tomorrow will probably be easier. I am thankful for that clip and thankful for the technology that recorded it. I wish I could hear his perspective on all that has happened. I know he knows.
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I miss you dad.